Usenet Article
Edited Version Published in Interactif Magazine: Issue #2, April/May 1995 p.18

Published for the first time, details of Scotland Yard's secret 
weapon in the fight against crime; Quantum Exhibits.
                                   ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
What is a Quantum Exhibit?
==========================
An item of Police evidence with the following properties:-

1.     It appears to different observers to be in different places
       at the same time. (Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle)

2.     It jumps from one place to another without travelling
       through the intervening space. (Quantum Leap)

Why are they important in the fight against crime?
==================================================
Quantum Exhibits that support the prosecution's case miraculously 
appear at the scene of a crime whilst those that do not, materialise 
elsewhere. Regardless of their original locations.

Who discovered them?
====================
Our files show that a cluster of Quantum Exhibits were produced by DC 
Neil Pratt, exhibits officer, anti-terrorist Squad, Scotland Yard as 
early as 14 May, 1987. He was working under the auspices of DCI (now 
Det. Supt.) Alec Edwards on operation Drifter. Other instances have 
been reported but none are so well documented.

How do they work?
=================
Bloody well, actually! There is no defence against a Quantum Exhibit. 
Convictions are guaranteed and no appeal has succeeded, so far. Only 
a fool would plead not guilty where Quantum Exhibits are produced. 
The mechanism by which they are created remains classified. How is it
done? We welcome technical comments or information from physicists, 
forensic scientists, police officers and legal professionals.

Operation Drifter: The Prime Example.
=====================================
Operation Drifter was one of Scotland Yard’s most secret  
investigations. It is still protected by a D notice, however, we are 
pleased to reveal details of the 'Pratt Photos', Scotland Yard's 
first Quantum Exhibits. The Event took place in and around 93 Park 
Street, London, W1 and was recorded on Police video tape. The 
witnesses included Commander George Churchill-Coleman, Sir Brian 
Worth, DCI Alec Edwards, DCI Robin Hancock and DC Michael Dillon who 
were all at the scene during the Quantum Event. The key witness is 
Sir Tassos Panayides. All are credible, material witnesses of 
impeccable character, leaving no doubt as to the veracity of their 
observations.

The accused, under police surveillance, obtained three strips of four 
passport photographs from a booth at Victoria Station. 15 minutes 
later he arrived at 93 Park Street in a chauffeur driven Mercedes 
which parked outside the building. He left his briefcase in the car 
and entered the building carrying a Filofax. Once inside, he handed a 
strip of four passport photographs to Sir Tassos who removed and kept 
the two middle photos and handed the rest back. Robin Hancock 
produced the middle photos as exhibit RH/4. The accused then left the
building and was arrested on the pavement by anti-terrorist squad
officers Ayres, Madden and Martin. Ayres and Madden recovered the
Filofax as exhibit NP/674.

The accused never made it back to the Mercedes. The driver was 
arrested by Knox and Martin who also impounded the briefcase as 
exhibit NP/669. These exhibits were handed to DC Neil Pratt, 
operation Drifter's exhibits officer.

DC Neil Pratt testified that he had found the top and bottom parts of 
the strip in the Filofax which was inside the briefcase recovered 
from the Mercedes! He produced the top and bottom photos as parts of 
exhibit NP/675. The Quantum Event appears to have occurred at the 
moment of arrest. The two photos and the Filofax having performed a 
Quantum Leap from the accused on the pavement to his briefcase in the 
Mercedes, a distance of approximately 10 yards! Very impressive.

The torn edges of both exhibits (3 pieces) match perfectly. The 
success of the subsequent prosecution hinged on whether the accused 
had given Sir Tassos genuine photographs of himself. By use of the 
Quantum Event, Neil Pratt was able to show that the entire exhibit 
must have been left in the car, therefore, the accused was guilty.

Unfortunately, someone forgot to tell Sir Tassos. The inconsistency 
between his evidence and that of Neil Pratt revealed the Quantum 
Event, although how it was achieved remains a mystery to this day. 
Scotland Yard has refused to comment. Sir Tassos invoked diplomatic 
immunity and left the country when an allegation of perjury was made 
against him.

The conviction stands as proof of the technique's effectiveness. 
Victor Temple QC, prosecuting, and Justice Macpherson, the trial 
judge, were happy to convict on this Quantum evidence. The Court of 
Appeal (Lord Lane) endorsed its validity as a valuable weapon in the 
fight against crime. The Royal Commission on Criminal Justice,
ministers Kenneth Baker, Douglas Hurd, Michael Howard and John Major
have all been invited to review the evidence and have not criticised
it in any way whatsoever.

Forensic scientists Dr Paul Bowden, Dr Ashley Robin, Dr Paul d'Orban 
and several others failed to show that the Quantum Event was an 
illusion, a delusion, the product of a disturbed mind or a para-
normal event. Justice was done, but nobody saw how it was done.

Nobel Prize Nomination
======================
For his outstanding work in the fight against crime, we nominate Neil 
Pratt to receive the Nobel Prize for Quantum Physics.

                                --<>--
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                         Scandals In Justice
                   injustice@scandals.demon.co.uk
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 Don't laugh, someone served five years on the back of this nonsense!